A couple of years after the birth of Heather, we heard that
a couple from Campus House was with child unexpectedly. I wrote this letter
in response.
A couple of years after the birth of Heather, we heard that
a couple from Campus House was with child unexpectedly. I wrote this letter
in response.
October 12, 1984
| Congratulations! I was excited to
hear of your coming child. Exited because you have chosen to give life and
share it. I know that there are many people who for a variety of reasons
decide not to have children. But deep inside me I have felt a strange disquiet
over the motives sometimes expressed. So often self enhancement or getting
seemed to weigh more than self denial or giving. And to my understanding
the latter is much more biblical than the former. Whether by accident or
design the gift of life giving has been granted you. That excites me. It
is an adventure of the highest magnitude. There is no predicting the outcome
of the child to be born to you, but neither are you powerless to influence
the results. In child rearing, proclaiming the gospel or a life of service
to God, involves a fair amount of pain as well as joy. Should it be any other
way?
Catherine's first reaction to Heather's birth was a bit unexpected to me. Instead of warm washes of maternal love oozing from every pore, she regarded Heather as a stranger, someone who she knew nothing about but felt a commitment to care for and get to know. In fact, it took a couple of months before any semblance of maternalism showed up. And yet, during that time we knew in a deep way that she is our child. At that time as well as now, I feel a strong sense of responsibility to God as to how I treat her and love her. I feel that someday my relationship with her will bear a closer scrutiny before God than anyone else, including Catherine. Catherine can stand up for herself, Heather can not.
|
Love filters all troubles and discomforts through redeeming
eyes. If you would ask us if Heather is a lot of trouble, our answer would
be directly dependent on how close to meal time it is. But we would say no
for most other times. Do we miss the lack of mobility we had while we were
married singles? Not much. Certainly not as much as the joy and delight to
hear a little voice recognize you and say "Daddy." Nothing like the joy of
feeling a small trusting accepting hand in yours. There are pains in the
rear end to be had, but also a souls delight not to be found in any other
way.